Wednesday, May 16, 2012
ONCE IN ALL EXISTENCE
She opened her eyes as the broad daylight touches her skin. She turned over to her bedside table to reach for her mobile phones; she has two; her business phone and her personal phone. Apparently no one had remembered it’s her birthday. She buried herself on her sheets and tried to jump into deep slumber again.
She’s rather small for her age, but it was the average size of Asian women. She has black hair that touches the edge of her shoulders, almond shaped eyes and a nose that looks like she just finished crying. She was curvy, bulge on the chest and a bit on her hips and she has fair colored skin
She’s 19 going on her 20th year of existence. She doesn’t believe that there is a reason she’s here, nothing to hold on to, and nothing to be excited about.
She heard sudden screaming and thumping downstairs, she was obliged to get up and see what’s going on. She stood up, went downstairs with her hair down he face.
“What the hell is going on?” Tala screamed.
Silence fell and touched the thoughts of her brother and her cousin.
She went to the bathroom and took a bath, got dressed and went off.
She doesn’t have any plans for the day, it was her birthday and she was all alone, walking.
She lift her arms to call a cab but even the cab drivers, doesn’t seem to notice her existence. It made her sadder.
“It’s another no birthday for me, again.” she thought loudly.
She was off to the nearest mall, for coffee. Her friends are usually available on such days, but her birthday seems to be one of the busiest days for them. She sat there, near the window as she watch people pass by, hoping that somehow she’ll bump into someone she knows. Minutes passed and she was getting sadder so she reached for her bag and pulled out her book. Sophie’s world, it was the –nth time she had read it but it never failed to amaze her every time.
She flipped through the pages of her adventure and buried herself more in the sadness in her heart.
He slowly opened his eyes and saw no one in his room, a room which is usually filled with his friends who likes to sleep over and his brother who shares it with him.
He reached for his phone and saw tons of messages from his friend whom he was with last night.
One read, “dude! you must have seen how toni threw up and ran to the bathroom, you should have came to dons place after the party.”
He was the crowd favorite, everyone wants him around because it was easy. He was light to be with. He never fails to please the crowd.
He was bulky, with a chest that can squeeze you and hands that can crush you. He stands 5ft 6, or that was my estimate. He has fair skin and black wavy hair. He wasn’t the typical guy you bump in to everyday.
He stood up when he saw the time, it was 12noon and he has to go to school. He took a quick bath, got dressed, dried his hair and took off.
His school was 1 ride away, and after a few minutes, he was there.
He sat at his table, as his friend mumbles around talking about how last night was too awesome to forget.
He sat there, not looking at those people around him. He wasn’t ignoring them; he was just too sleepy to even care.
He squint his eyes little by little when his thought stumbled upon a loud voice.
“Class starts.” one classmate whispered.
He reached for his bag and pulled out his manual and read through the day’s lesson.
It was another empty night; I tried to convince Tala that she needs to go out. Party or drink. She hasn’t been in a really good mood lately. She wasn’t really herself for the past couple of weeks.
After a few lines she finally gave in, and agreed to drink and chill.
“Be dolled up, I’m just going to change really quickly.” I told her.
I was very excited to see her dress up again, she was a good fella who loves to work the room but she wasn’t really doing that for quite a while now. She was pretty down ever since she graduated, broke up with his guy, fought with her family and forced to manage their whole clothing business.
I see her as my comfort blanket; I haven’t seen her this way. She was my model of strength and I can see through her now. She’s getting there, she’ll be okay. I know she’ll be fine.
It wasn’t long before I proved myself right.
As I stepped into Talas living room, I felt light down her face. She was wearing her favorite plaid shorts, grey top with gold chains and knee high boots.
“Now there’s my friend”, I felt like a proud momma. Tala looked effortlessly good while I looked overdressed.
We went to the place we usually go to, our hotspot.
Tala said Hello to the bouncers which she hasn’t seen for a while and had our bags checked. We sat in the middle of the busy crowd. Ordered shots and gulped up such bad alcohols.
I was trying to make my friend happy, I asked our other friends to join us and there they were.
I saw Tala smiling again, a smile that I haven’t seen for a while. I know when her smiles we’re fake, she can’t hide anything to me.
It was the shots that we’re making me feel dizzy, but I remembered how Tala stood up and talked to someone I don’t really know.
She was all smiles when she sat back down beside me.
I haven’t heard from Tala in a week, she hadn’t returned my messages or even my wall posts on her blog. She was MIA.
Then I texted her to meet me over coffee at our favorite shop, I told her that I will be waiting.
She was there in front of me, full make-up, hair done and nails done. She was Tala again, it’s as if someone sprinkled a pixie dust in her and put her back to her old self.
I know her looks, her acts and her language. I knew what was going on.
“So who is it?” I asked.
“You know me too well.” She replied.
“It’s an old friend from way back.” She added.
“I knew it. What’s his name?”I was being snoopy.
And the conversation ended there, her constant texting wasn’t interesting me anymore, it was another boy ready to break her heart. But her happiness was priceless to me, she was happy. Happy like I have never seen before, but as I looked through her eyes, I saw fear.
MIA again, she was.
I was happy. I have been seeing my good friend Lee often and my heart was as warm as an early morning bath.
My arms we’re around him and his was around me, I haven’t been in a much safer place. My heart was all thumping and jumping all around the place.
Suddenly I uttered words I never thought I could say again.
I Love you.
He said it back.
I cannot believe I was there again, on a distant galaxy where I go all dumb and trip and fall. Maybe I was Tala again, the girl who falls too much and gets to less. ButI was beginning to believe that luck has changed.
His hands clasp mine like it was custom made, like it was a puzzle piece. Okay that sounds ridiculous, but that’s how I feel.
We lay there, doing nothing, staring at the ceiling when I turned to him with my head on his arms and my other hand holding his.
With his eyes shut.
“I love you. And I mean it.” Lee said.
I was in awe, for the first time I felt that tinge in my heart that I am loved again.
Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks.
I was getting addicted to loves call; it’s a line from a song. But it was exactly what was happening to me.
I asked him not to be addicted to me because I am afraid not to put everything on the line. I was scared like a mice from a cat, I was unsure if I can handle this again. The expectations, the promises, the commitment.
I was dumb to think that way, but I learned to create a barrier in my heart to protect it from being crushed again.
I can’t help but be with him, I can’t stay by myself, and he was in my mind most of the time.
Here comes the giant. He was all strong and controlling and he has this power over me. I admit it, he was a big part of me. But all he can be a part of now is my past. He is now a friend. I was stupid to think that he wants the best for me; he wants the best for himself. I wouldn’t talk trash about him, but oh he likes tramps. He made me and Lee all complicated, he acts as though he owns me; like he hadn’t done anything wrong.
That’s what freaks me out; I broke into tears every time he blames me for everything. But Lee was there beside me, and without him knowing he makes me fall more.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I will be leaving the country soon. I will be going to Osaka to study. One big dream, a leap of fate.
I’m trying to stay away from everyone so they wouldn’t have a hard time trying to forget me or say goodbye. I said so many goodbyes before, I can’t handle another one.
So I stopped texting everyone, One day, I vanished.
Oftentimes, they find me at home and that’s the only time I get to go out with them. And when every night ends, I vanish again.
I was trying really hard to get out of everyone’s way; I wanted to be gone without a trace but one thing leads to another.
I stood there in the hallways of my typical college hangout place, waiting for Lee. We needed to talk, to clear the air.
Oh by the way, did I mention that this day was Valentine’s Day?
But as he walks toward me, my heart fell on the ground. Crushed like never before.
“What?” lee asked
I stared at him, trying to remember that smile on his face.
“I’m sorry” I said, that’s the only right thing I could come up with. I was hurting so bad because the moment I saw him, the only thing on my mind was to run up to him and give him a hug. I miss him too much and I showed it too less.
“It’s okay.” He answered.
Tears are beginning to fill my eyes, I tried hard to hide them. But he even joked about it.
He kept saying we’re friends.
“stop saying we’re friends.” I said.
I was hurting too much at that moment that I wanted to jump of hurdle beside me. I wanted to scream and punch him. This isn’t what I wanted to happen. I wanted to throw a punch on his head, but he was just in a box. I can’t see him, the Lee I knew.
“don’t you have anything to tell me?” I asked him over and over.
He went off, he told me that he doesn’t want me anymore, that he wasn’t happy. It was my cue to stop.
“okay.” I whispered, no voice would come out of my mouth.
I was going to shake his hand and bid goodbye but we hugged and I wanted to whisper something to his ear but my heart was bleeding badly.
He said bye and asked me to text him before I leave for Osaka prolly. I looked back at him and he was smiling, it crushed me even more to realize that it may be the last time to see him again. I walked the halls of a crowded area and tried to hold in every tear.
I texted him that I have to say something and he has to see me again, he went to the halls and stood beside me.
“If you think everything was a lie, there is one thing that isn’t a lie. I haven’t lied about what I felt, on how I love you. That’s something I wouldn’t do.”Dramatically, I delivered what I wanted to say.
He said sorry if he doubted, I wrapped my arms around him and said I love you. He laughed at me, a sarcastic laugh of course. I didn’t expect him to say it back, but I was hoping he could. But it was another goodbye.
Monday, May 14, 2012
As many people may know, I developed an obsession with anything ASIAN. Not just because i'm asian but because they are just so cute! And I just met the cutest asian in the world. *school girl gushing*
Fangirl fantasies aside, Jay Park is one of the kindest K-pop kids I met. Plus he doesn't need a translator to talk to you.
For a week, I can probably say I've let go of all my commitments (including basketball) to be a Jay Park groupie, it was a part of my sweet sweet job and it's nice to know that my clients from MCA Music loves me very much and I love them very much too, so the feeling is mutual. They've given me All-access to all things Jay Park.This event and person is very memorable because this is the last gadgets mag issue i'm working on, and then I'm off to my new job in the wild.
So... Jay Park, or Park Jaebeom. Lets cut to the chase.
When I got his itinerary for Jay's stay in the Philippines, I was like "whoah, no spare time". He got every minute scheduled and every move marked. It must have been hard to work with such big star, but when I met him. He was the sweetest, funniest and the most charming kid ever. Ms.Grace from MCA even told me that it has been difficult working with big stars like him but he is very nice and he doesn't complain. I'll say, three concerts in a weekend, that must have been very hard.
Through this whole shenanigan, I've met the wildest fans and the craziest kids.Screaming and teary-eyed as Jay Park entered the stage. I didn't understand, I wasn't a fan. I was just there to do my job as an official media partner. He grows on you, he really does. It was the charm, the tattoo, the hair, the skin, the dance moves, the voice and it is him, with his feet on the ground. He is promoting his full-length album called NEW BREED! get a copy now!:)
I can't say that much anymore coz I must write all this for the magazine and not here, so I will just share photos from my camera and the official photos sent by my lovely friends from MCA.:)
press con at Eastwood Richmonde
Mckinley Hill show and autograph signing
Lucky Chinatown show
and here's one photo of Jay Park during our shoot, adorable!:)