Tuesday, February 19, 2013

three open letters


There are 82 letters in here, and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer, one a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, .like before. Cause you hurt me so bad and I was afraid to be vulnerable again. I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now, after what I did, but I just thought that you should know. This is how I spent my summer, Luke, wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it.     -Brook Davis, One Tree Hill


--


To Mr. Empire State of Mind

"We've got to stop this", that's the first thing that came into my mind. For the past couple of months, you're nowhere to be found, I've been tossing, turning and looking everywhere for you. I've been looking for you, though I know where you are, where I can find you. I just can't admit it, that you left without saying anything. So how will I say goodbye to someone you never had? How would I tell myself that it's over, though it haven't started yet. You left before and when you came back, it's as if nothing happened. As if you didn't hurt anyone. You've got to stop coming and going, you've got to stop hurting me. Now I ask myself, now that you're coming back, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to come back to you? I don't know. My face is on my palm, almost crying but instead I let out a sigh, thinking that one day I'll get through this. One day I'll have you or one day I will lose you. It's one way or the other. Whatever happens, it is because we both wanted it. We agreed to where this is going. All I want is for you to be happy, because no matter how hurt I am, I will always hope for the better. The better for you and me. Because, I Love you.

With much Love, yours always.

--

To Mr. Hot Shot

I remember how I saw you for the first time, from a distance through all the people. I remember how you smile and how you shook your head. I remember you. The person everyone loves. I don't know how we both fell in this situation, how we both became trapped on where we are. Now I sit here beside you, hand in hand but I can't figure out why my hands is in yours and why your lips are in mine. I want to hold back or fight the urge of kissing you, but I cant. Every time people scream out your name, I wanted you to scream back mine. Every time they come running after you, I wanted you to come hide with me. I can't keep doing this, being with you. Because I will never be good enough, I will never be that someone who will always be there. I am just a friend.

Your friend, Ms.Confused.

--

To Mr. Know-it-all

I know how stubborn you are, like you know what I am thinking of or what I am going through. You have no idea how everyday I have to wake-up and drag myself to work. Or how I have to sleep through all the pain life had caused me. You and I, we always clicked, we always give way to one another, to give each other a chance, a chance to be happy. It should be perfect, it should be like a fairytale. I don't know if its all the mistakes we've done, or the chances we gave but I grew tired. Tired of trying and forgiving. I grew tired of what we have and what I have to wake up to everyday. I look at us and I this is not the life that I wanted for myself. I want a better life for myself, not to drag me into a black hole. I don't know how to say this anymore because I've said this millions of times before, and yet, we're still here.

your used to be.

--

 

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