"i want you to stay and not go away"

Recent.

For the first time, I will finally admit to myself how much I have fallen for someone who made me feel like i am the light of the universe. Maybe I am taking the easy way out, but maybe for once I can go to the easy choice. All my life, I have been used to the complicated ways of everything. This time I will let go and free fall on the hole thats in front of me. I may not be sure if I will be falling on the right track but its seems to be the only choice.

Lets hit the rewind...

Have you ever tried laying down beside someone who you really like? I did, a few many times. And in that few many times, many have tried to take advantage. I was sorry for myself coz this people are the ones I have learned to trust and be totally comfortable with. Then all things changed..

I lay there, forgetting who I am for the mean time. For the time I was there, the only thing i got was a real conversation with a real man. Telling me things that I didn't want to hear but things that I also need to know. It was an honest conversation. As silly as it may sound, we just talked the night away. He had held both of my hands from night til the morning.

"i want you to stay and not go away". I didn't know how i will respond to that.

And in the morning, I got a hug from behind (while I was in front of the mirror) and a kiss on the forehead. For a sucker for love, it was the most romantic thing.

I wanted to say that I am not the one who's going away. He is, and along with him is my heart that had crazy feelings for him in secret.