i'll bid goodbye to 2010 with a silly grin on my face

2010 has been the worst for me. It was hell actually and I'm glad its over.

2010 made families deceived me, friends leave me and drama took over me. It was a train wreck.

So i'll bid goodbye to everything that had hurt me and just hope for a better one.

I've looked back this one time and tried to forget everything.

I forgive those who have hurt me, let go of the people who deceived me, forget of the pain and the troubles. It's time to move on.

And without all the shit, i wouldn't be here and what doesnt kill me makes me stronger.

hello 2011, game on!

hello loves, happy day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVES!:)

from working together, we became best of friends. and it never changed since then.

You are just simply wonderful PAUL DELA PERET JATAYNA.



Today is the 21st birthday of loves, if any of you are wondering about his age. We are about the same age and same zodiac sign. and maybe thats why we get along.:)

I don't know how to start this, but because you have been one of my greatest friends I would have to thank you in a way.:)

I Love you loves, and you know I will always be here for you. I can say millions of reasons why you and I are friend, another million on why I love you, and another million why we are inseparable.

from lookbook shoots, to special events, to parties and to anywhere: you know I'm always there for you.

After all the drama we've been through, I know there are things that we still have to handle, more pain and adventures.

Though there had been distance between us, you still stay close to my heart. And you know I'm just a text away.

I'm happy that you have been able to find someone who also makes you happy.
I'm proud of who you became and proud of the future you'll have.

I'm happy that you have been able to find someone who also makes you happy. I'm proud of who you became and proud of the future you'll have.

Thanks for being there in little parties.

just like my brothers jolly birthday.

Thanks for fooling around, you make me smile.

Just like how you always know the right things to say to make me feel better.:)

I know we understand each other, and I love the way we are so much alike.

You are like a brother/sister to me. haha!

We are so "whatever", we don't have plans when going out, thats why we're a little crazy and unpredictable.

You are the nicest person ever, and don't change a thing coz thats what separates you from the rest.

You are like a boyfriend to me, always looking after me and being there for me whenever i need you.

cheers to more parties, and more fun.
we are young and free, lets live life.:)

cheers to more clothes and shoes!

we can have millions of reasons to be happy, and being friends with you will always be one of them

you and pat are my comfort blanket, you make me feel like im your little sister.

You know i'm always here to cheer you up.

I love you loves and cheers to more dates!:)

I won't wish for more clothes and more shoes for you on your birthday.
I only wish you peace of mind and clarity, because I know we have lots of things in our minds right now.

and don't forget what I told you, okay?:)

again, I love you dear!♥ always!

on this day i'll leave it all up to a silly palm reading from the past

Or did I say this just because. or have i said this too many times before?

I read a couple of things from my scrapbook last night and I stood there stunned from a little prediction I got from a palm reading. "You'll fall madly in love and you will fight like there's no end" And i did, until now i'm still in a battle to fight. Everyone knows how I feel with this person, no question to that. I defined love by his name, life by his name. And I have forgotten how to live and love by myself. It doesn't really matter, I am happy and no doubt to that.

Maybe there were lies, but I have never lied on how I feel. I cried when I felt like it, I laughed when I needed to burst it, I smiled when i felt sweet, I loved.always.

So cheers to everything, for not losing hope, for not giving up and for every battle we have won.

I wanted to raise you up, your belief and love. Everything is surreal and we wouldn't stop.

I never wished for someone like you, but when i opened a gift that fell from above. I got you, not knowing why or how. But I was glad, it was you. my special gift. And i won't ever throw you away.

You are like the light in every sidewalk, You give a little direction when everything goes astray.

When everyone left you behind, i'll stay by your side. When everyone alienated you, I will still be here. Just like before.

We needed some time to rest, time to sit down and talk. And everything went into a flashback. You and me on that lonesome road.

Now,again, lets make it happen. Fall to each others arms and free fall some more.

I can’t fall every time

Every day, I fall in and out

Rain falls down my window, and there are so many things that make me as human as I am

Coz we are vulnerable to pain, we tend to feel each twitch, each gasp, and each pinch

Nothing else in the world will be enough to shield us from all the pain.

When you make a mistake, I didn’t mind

That was the right thing to do, to build walls around my heart

Stopping each arrow you tried to launch

You are my forever but we can’t be like this together

Fall and fall, no end

Fall and fall, no stop

Fall and fall, to nowhere, to out there

On the middle of the streets I lay, no heart, no dreams

I kept something inside of me, strength that will forever be

Could you stop for a while, I will just catch my breathe

Or even I have forgotten what that is

Could we take a shortcut home, skip the pain and drama

Or even go fast track to all the stops.

I can’t tell how much I have felt

Only pain that I have dealt

Oh could we go halfway

And travel again on the second hay

I cannot feel nor walk nor play

Let’s just stay together although out our day

How to be an artist, a repost from 101 bird tales

"whilst you are developing a practice, a key component in that process is your own curiosity. This might appear obvious, straightforward, naive. Yet curiosity is a major strategy in developing an individual voice.

• be curious about your process
• be curious about yourself
• be curious about your inner state
• be curious about your feelings

instead of the blunt instrument of just always doing. Investigate the open, seductive, fertile realm of curiosity.

• investigate
• make connections
• do research
• be curious

don't try to control, that will be useless. Just -

• watch
• observe

think about what being curious would mean for you.

• more time?
• more space?
• more focus?
• more leisure?
• more research?
• more exhibitions?
• more people?
• more life?

count backwards every day 1000-0 and in that time let your curiosity roam.

creativity is a tool for the re-assembling of reality. It doesn't work to deadlines. It needs room to grow and that space can be a place of waiting. We assume that time on a bus, waiting for some-one to arrive, a train delayed is lost time. Perhaps it's just the universe telling you that you need to so nothing.

seek out opportunities for waiting. Be curious. Watch and wait for what is happening. Look for spaces for being yourself.

• the view
• the park bench
• the journey by train
• the queue
• the office on a slow Friday afternoon

These are good places to bring your awareness to yourself and anything that brings awareness to your inner self, will encourage your own artist."

***

Well hello to all artists out there!

I could use a little crazy

Life has been awfully disgusting and I needed a little work on how to live life as I age, I could use a little crazy and a little wild sometimes. Just to keep me sane amidst wars of different kinds.

Two kinds of Filipinos

Or at least I think there are two kinds of Filipinos. I just realized this when the new Philippine President was elected.

It was like a truck went by a crowd and tore them in two parts. Meaning, their beliefs in governance and change.

Me and my dad had probably talked about the government so many times, and it never goes out of fashion I must say. Dad believes in change and peace and rainbows and butterflies. He always see the best in people, though not necessarily. He wanted to change the world, He has an eye for the less fortunate: he always want to help them. He's that much of a giver and helper. But there are people like me, someone who knows that change is only possible when everyone wants it. I have seen how strong Filipinos are, they know what they believe in, they know their rights an d they know change. The thing is that, they don't really know how to start change. I'm a believer that everything has its time, and maybe this is not yet the time for change. Let us wait for a couple of days, months or even years. Coz really, change starts from the heart.

They have been expecting too much from the new President, he has things to do instead of wasting his time to listen to problems that he has heard of before. Yes, he has been a good president. I am impressed, he lasted for more than a hundred days. Lets not push and expect him to do all we want all at the same time. Patience my dear, we had forgotten that patience is really a virtue.

Change, I heard that too many times before. Not that I don't believe in it anymore but I have learned to wait for change. Even climate change took its time to be a really bad one. We even need to wait for our change when we rode the jeepney or when buying something from the Sari-Sari store. It all takes time, chill.

And you know what goes hand in hand with change? It's YOU.

He once said, we are the boss. Yes we are, we always are.

Kayo ang boss ko, kaya’t hindi maaaring hindi ako makinig sa mga utos ninyo. We will design and implement an interaction and feedback mechanism that can effectively respond to the people’s needs and aspirations.

coz i need some space to breathe my own air.

besides writing and productions, i need some place to throw up and be inspired.

i'm lookbooking again..:)

photo by TIN B.

hype me at lookbook.nu/gavinsky

Clean slates and then I walk away.

if you will tell me such thing as

what blair told serena:

Blair: I love it how it has never occurred to you that someone might not want to see you every single day.
Serena: Someone, sure. Probably lots of people. But not my best friend.


plus, needing to success without your best friend.

-thats bull (of course), selfish and uncanny.

need I say more?

And to this extent, I would gladly walk away.
Don't look back or see who's got your back, coz you won't see anyone anymore.

When you look at those times when no ones there, I did not hesitate to be a friend.

Clean slates and then I walk away.

Coz growing is not stepping, but flying.

‘Where The F*ck Is My Sailor?’ IVANAHelsinki Spring 2011 Collection

‘Where The F*ck Is My Sailor?’ IVANAHelsinki Spring 2011 Collection



IVANAhelsinki's head designer, Paola Ivana Suhonen is the multi-talented artist behind the independent Fashion/Art brand IVANAhelsinki of Finland. This women;s label is now regularly seen in the pages of International Elle and Vogue.

Finland has been named as World Design Capital for 2012 and IVANAhelsinki is the first finnish brand to show in the official IMG MB New York Fashion Week September 2010.



Suhonen's signature style of Scandinavian roots will be shown in her collection provocatively entitled as 'Where The F*ck is my Sailor'.

This collection is a Nordic-inspired collection, with retro twist in prints and motifs such as crochet knits and red and, white and blue nautical stripes. While 60's styled, black and white striped dresses and playsuits with ropes are consistent all throughout the collection.

Paola Suhonen has collaborated with renowned International brands such as Google, Topshop, Head Snowboards, Swarovski, Coca-Cola and Canon just to name a few.

This designer is also the newly appointed Creative Director for US based Magazine - Love Contemporary.

"A personal art project, which is now it’s a way of life`. ‘I could easily spend my life as a gypsy or a vagabond; love stories, road trips, strong living…but its okay too, to make cute cotton and woollen dresses for charismatic drummer girls and girl women with beautiful souls. They are the girls who love moonlit fields, pirates, dark vast forests, crummy motels, a champagne state of drunkenness, fragile butterflies, lullabies and guardian angels." Paola said in her fashion career.


IVANAhelsinki SpringSummer 2011 Collection will be shown at the Studio, Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at Lincoln Center, NYC.
Show starts at 9:00pm, Thursday September 16, 2010.

-sky gavin,

MTV VMA's winners!

VIDEO OF THE YEAR- Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

BEST NEW ARTIST - Justin Bieber

BEST HIPHOP VIDEO - Eminem - Not Afraid

BEST POP VIDEO- Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

BEST MALE VIDEO - Eminem - Not Afraid

BEST ROCK VIDEO - 30 seconds to mars - Kings and Queens

BEST FEMALE VIDEO - Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

BEST COLLABORATION - Lady Gaga and Beyonce - Telephone

BEST DANCE MUSIC VIDEO - Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

BEST ART DIRECTION - Florence + the Machines - Dog days are over

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY - Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY - Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind

BEST DIRECTION - Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

BEST EDITING - Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS - Muse - Uprising

BREAKTHROUGH VIDEO - Black eyed peas - tighten up

LANVIN ♥ H&M

"H&M [is] going luxury rather than Lanvin is going public."

Lanvin's collection for H&M will be unveiled late October and will drop on 200 H&M stores on November 23 worldwide.

Lanvin and H&M will be tying up this season to launch their womenswear and menswear.

“H&M approached us to collaborate, and see if we could translate the dream we created at Lanvin to a wider audience, not just a dress for less. I have said in the past that I would never do a mass-market collection, but what intrigued me was the idea of H&M going luxury rather than Lanvin going public. This has been an exceptional exercise, where two companies at opposite poles can work together because we share the same philosophy of bringing joy and beauty to men and women around the world.” Alber Elbaz, artistic director of Lanvin.

Alber Elbaz, Artistic Director of Lanvin

Since joining Lanvin as artistic director in 2001, Alber Elbaz has transformed the Paris-based label into a fashion powerhouse. Elbaz has pioneered some of the biggest trends of the past decade, such as ribbons, pearls and metallic embellishment just to name a few.

Elbaz has a mastery for cut and an instinct for cloth that gives a very personal signature on his work that makes all Lanvin clothes recognizable.

H&M has partnered with Karl Lagerfeld, Comme des Garçons, Sonia Rykiel and Stella McCartney.

There will be a sneak peek of the collection on November 1 through an online film posted on hm.com.

"This has been an exceptional exercise, where two companies at opposite poles can work together because we share the same philosophy of bringing joy and beauty to men and women around the world," Elbaz said in a statement.

Click on the link below for Lanvin's artistic director Alber Elbaz on the collaboration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg2AnIUCktE&feature=player_embedded

hello, happy day.

"I wanted him to be sorry for what he did and spend the
rest of his life trying to make up for it."

Maybe its too much to ask, but being left broken was the worse thing I have ever been through,

with not much guilt on the side.

Hello, If you remember. Its the 11th today. happy. and we spent it by fighting and blaming.

May I have my brain back? Coz you always told me to understand, and I always did. But you never saw it.

There are no words now, just sorry.

Sorry.

I have forgotten how to take away all the anger in my heart. Forgotten how not to care. Forgotten how to live my life. And most of all, I have forgotten who we are.

We grew apart.

Not even knowing that we already walked different paths, different bumps on the side. Different road that may not ever cross again.

You gave me a reason.

I was thinking it over, why am I still here? And if you have asked me a few months or years ago. I may have given you millions of answers to that.. and now I cant even find a single reason why I am here and why I am staying.

And..

Now you gave me nothing but an empty heart, broken memory and brain trauma.

The business

I haven't written anything for a while now, most of the reasons I can think of is that i'm busy but really I'm just lazy to write something. Information overload, so I have to write some.

OVER A CUP OF CARAMEL FRAPPE CREAM BASED
plus Cinnamon swirl.

I was supposed to go to school for an interview to help a friend, we met at starbucks columns. It was justa walk away from school.

The first set of questions were about Blogging and the other is about the networks election coverage.

I was interviewed before, but this one is cool. I said things that I couldn't think of. I wondered why I blogged, I am blogging for about 8 or 7 years now. Started out with podcasting and then verged on to blogging.

Is there anything to tell this kids for them to be inspired?

Coz I almost gave up on writing, I'm just another silly antic, Another writer-wannabe, Another artist wanting to be published.. someday.

What did I said to that interview?

Blogging is just an instrument to inspire aspiring
writers,

Gives writers a spark of hope that someday they will be
published.

WHATS YOUR DREAM?

It was a question posted to me by one of my icons; Howie Severino.

I paused for a solid 2 seconds. I scavenge through my deepest thoughts and I can't find a good answer.

"I wanna be an editor of a magazine someday." i said.

"but the internet is the new media." he answered.

I just smiled, and wished that I can get away with a smile. He was that sort of person who will read your mind or even analyze how you think.

I tried thinking of a dream. I can't find anything. so am I this shallow?

THE NEW MEDIA

so I have been working for internet based news. They say its the new media, the new trend and even the future. Yes it is, I have no say to that. Coz its really true, 80% lower cost to publish and more virtual space to store anything.

I just posted this coz I remembered a question from ms.universe. For being responsible for internet use.

I have hovered into nothingness

As the night closes into morning light I have remembered how it feels like to be human again. Feeling pain, feeling how to be a nobody. It was back where we all started.

I went to bed as the sun shone over the city, covered my face with a pillow to be bounded by darkness. After a few minutes I fell asleep, as if it was night time.

Darkness fell upon the the sky and there were streaks of light falling down on different paths. I thought of who might saw those falling stars and whose wishes would be granted. I didn't made a wish, but my heart did.

I held on tight to a dream I have ever since I was a child, writing and painting dreams. I have colored my life with blacks, grays and whites, with splashes of colors here and there.

I stood there in front of my easel with a brush in my hands and a palette on the other. It;s been a few years, I have hovered into nothingness. Pretended not to care or to exist.

I picked up my brush dabbed reds into my painting, a bit of yellows and greens. I have created a monster, because that is who I became. Labeled by my own standards, owned by selfish thoughts.

I will paint a wall.

I painted a world that didn't exist.

Curved buildings, flying humans, multi-colored skies, yellow waters, humanoids even. - a wild sky dream.

It was surreal.

what is surreal? surrealism? - simultaneous dream-memory of everything.

I screamed and shouted for cold water, I was in the inner most part of the furthest province. I threw the plastic glass of water to my grand father. I demanded for cold water or even Ice. He has to go through all the barrios to the city. He then came back with a big block of ice and mineral water. He came back after 4 hours. Yes, we were that far from the city.

My mom decided to banish me to the province, cause I have been such a pain in the a** at home.

My grandpa wasn't allowed to smoke, he has this lung problem. I was roaming around the yard when I saw a pack of cigarettes on a branch of a tree. Clever. My grandpa hid it there so no one could see, but I was too sneaky to not notice.

Then the next thing I knew was that I was smoking that pack of cigarette with my granny. Conversations about life and on what a brat I am. He then remembered being the same when he was a child. He didn't puff cigarettes but smoking pipes with the Spanish soldiers. My grandpa is Spanish. He was also a problem to the family so he was sent to the provinces.

You will share this someday, with the world. You will be great, unlike me.

But he was my inspiration. He wrote things I had never thought of. But he left the earth with an unlikely mark; of not wanting to live but leaving the world with a mystery of how he lived.

I have completed my day, I covered my short body with my blanket, puffed my head on to the pillow, turned off the lights and opened my mind to new dreams to write about.

im sorry for my unPoetic ways

His brown eyes and jet black hair,
are nothing but a memory.
In the deepest depths of my mind,
there he lay.

Like midnight dreams that lingered,
He was a thought away.
Like a sail boat,
He drifted away.

On a broad daylight,
He was my coffee.
On a deep midnight,
He was my blanket.

I can go on and on,
On how much he meant to me.
But he is just a star,
In the middle of a sky.

We will not make it through,
Coz theres nothing to save.
We will not fly,
Coz theres no reason to get high.

Every memory will be worth keeping,
But every thought leaves my heart bleeding.
Every word is music to my ears,
But every strumm makes my eyes tear.

Your hands secures my way,
Your hug covers my fears,
Your kiss wakes my nightmares,
Your heart makes mine beat.

The gift of memory,
They make me thankful.
The gift of memory,
Made me learn.

Step one and two,
who am I to you?
No next step,
it's leaving me hanging.s

a lousy dream.

I feel like crying not because I feel defeated but because I didn't get enough chance to fight hard.

I wanted to believe the best in you but as I patch everything I'm starting to lose hope and belief in whatever we have or had.

Now it was just a sigh away, a lousy dream and even a mistake that I will never regret. Funny, its a mistake but I will never regret it.

My hands are trembling as I write this stupid blog, my eyes are tearing up: and there goes my thought that I was strong. But I have removed my shield and opened my heart.

I am not hiding anything, Is it my fault that I am trying to look for a right timing to tell you that I love you?

I am no superwoman nor darna.

I am a writer, its either i'm facing the computer or i have a pen and paper in my hands.
I am the mind in the tactics,
The head in the games,
The poet in a middle of a war,
The thought in problem.

I am no superwoman nor darna.
I'm just a writer.

moreover,

coz we were not supposed to be confused on things that we really want.

I took up Mass Communications because it is something I really want ever since. There were down times when I caught myself saying, "What have I gotten myself into?" Over and Over again I have told myself I am not a quitter, but my body is giving up. Tired of all the crap and all the people she has to face everyday.

erase me

I keep on running, keep on running
and nothing works
I can’t get away from you
no, I keep on ducking keep on thucking your nothing else
I can’t stop missing you

another pathetic scheme

It was another pathetic scheme that had put me in the middle of the crossroads.

Over and over again I have told you I am a cliff diver, which part didn't you get? Coz by saying I'm a cliff diver, I meant I rush things too much. Or when an idea or situation presented itself, I may fall for a stunt easily. (funny, you told me that you're the one who falls easily)

Lets not forget that there are things we have to think about, there are lots of things we have to sort out. We need to figure this things out first, before we rush to judgements and conclusions.

We are both cliff divers. The only difference is that you can literally jump off a cliff but I cannot.

Anyways, I have read your notes on FB. I didn't thought you we're quite a writer.

So this are the things I have read again, stop pulling yourself down. You are not that f***ed up, well believe me. My mess' are just hard to compete with.

So am I just another pathetic scheme for you to scream out you're fucked up life? Or am I the real thing you have been looking for a couple of years now?

Lets shake a hand on it..

Now can you please tell me where I stand? Coz regardless of what I know, I am not sure where I stand. I am on that edge of the cliff where you and I are supposed to free fall. But you took a step back, is it because you want to jump as high as the sky to reach the bottom-est part? Or you are having second thoughts?

Lets deal with this now..

You know my heart is breaking every second I try to suppress how I feel. So will we make it through? or is this just one of our pathetic schemes?

-wildskydreamer

this is magic.

and yes I completely agree that this is magic.

Sorry readers, if you have been reading about all this drama I have been going through. Regardless, thats what I am. One big ball of drama.

Anyway, thinking about all this drama made me realize that this is magic.

Well, still being here and surviving. Thats magic.

It took away lots of my attention. I can be visually impaired for not seeing all this awesome people around me.

Thank you mister for taking all my attention from all this awesomeness of the people around me.

But then again, at the end of the day. I know that many people cares and loves me.:)

as much as it hurts to admit...

It's absurd to fall for someone so far, someone you see once a week or even once in two weeks.

Its a little difficult for me to tell myself that sometime I will need to accept the fact that I have fallen for someone who cannot be mine or the chances of him being mine is as slim as my favorite ham.

When I see you, I will need to tell you what I feel and move on. I have learned to believe in us, to believe in what we feel. But then reality strikes us back, theres just too much to put on the line. So better give up now while its still easy. But it isn't easy for us. We both know that.

You asked me if I love you, I lied. I asked you back and all I got was a rounded answer. And when I asked you again, you told me I already know the answer. Yes I do know the answer. It sucks coz you can tell me that and i'm too cowardly to tell you how I feel.

I have learned to build this wall around me, because I cannot afford to lay my heart on the line again. It is the biggest investment yet. Well, convince me to tell you and I might free fall and answer your question.

On second thought, you don't need to ask me. I will tell you, in time.

Just give me one night to open my heart and another night for me to open yours. Then we will have to figure out whats next.

Lets have another all night conversation, just honest and from the heart.

And baby why do we have to complicate things, we both feel the same.

we're young and free, why ruin it?

we're young and free, why ruin it?

Feelings are overrated.

They mess up the truth and even everything that can be compared to it.

Every moment was gone in a flash.

I was having a late night chat with a high school friend, then i remembered how easy life was when I was younger. Life was just a day to day activity, I live and thats it. Nothing much to worry about.

we're young and free, why ruin it?

First step done, second step pending...

Well, it wasn't that easy for me to say how I feel, I know I am very vocal about everything I want to say but it seems so hard now. I don't know why or how this had happened. But it isn't that bad after all. At least I get to spend time with my heart and with my brain to think things over.

we're young and free, why ruin it?

So i'm planning to get a place nearer work, coz yes I am one of those lazy writers who complains about writers block but actually its just writers laziness. There, i said it out loud. I'm too lazy to travel from my place to the office. So was it a joke that you too wants to move in? and with me? I can't figure out whats a joke or not. can i not think about this chiz anymore?

we're young and free, why ruin it?

Complicated is just a state of mind, if you look into things you will realize this things isn't so complicated after all. Its just another easy way out. Its a choice to look at things complicatedly or to straighten things out.

or maybe you're just like me. A complicated mind, doesn't mind to fix up things.

we're young and free, why ruin it? LETS JUST FREE FALL.

im afraid im a cliff diver

This time I'm afraid i am a cliff diver. Over and over I thought this girl is brave enough to free fall. But then she realized she's falling in such a deep hole, it seems bottomless.

and seeing you makes me think twice

I'm sorry but I just need to post this, it seem appropriate.


well as complicated as this might sound, we still have a choice and somewhat a decision to make.


As Lovers Go by Dashboard Confessional

She said, "I've gotta be honest
You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here"
And I said, "You must be mistaken
Cause I'm not fooling, this feeling is real"
She said, "You gotta be crazy
What do you take me for, some kind of easy mark?"
"No, you've got wits, you've got looks
You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong"

All wrong
All wrong
But you got me

I'll be true, I'll be useful
I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours, my dear
And I'll belong to you
If you'll just let me through
This is easy, as lovers go
So don't complicate it by hesitating
And this is wonderful, as loving goes
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting

And I said, "I've gotta be honest
I've been waiting for you all my life
For so long I thought I was asylum-bound
But just seeing you makes me think twice
And being with you here makes me sane
I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side
You've got wits, you've got looks
You've got passion
But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight"

Tonight
Tonight
But you've got me

I'll be true, I'll be useful
I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours, my dear
And I'll belong to you
If you'll just let me through
This is easy, as lovers go
So don't complicate it by hesitating
And this is wonderful, as loving goes
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting

This is easy, as lovers go
So don't complicate it by hesitating
And this is wonderful, as loving goes
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting

This is easy, as lovers go
So don't complicate it by hesitating
And this is wonderful, as loving goes
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting

here we go.

I am sorry for backing out when I was about to tell you everything that I feel. I'm sorry for making you go all the way from your place to manila just to hear me say, "sorry but I changed my mind in telling you. I will just keep my mouth shut."

wait, i take it back. I am not sorry, I just have to think it over again. then I'll say sorry.

Maybe here I can say anything and even everything.

I don't know where to start.

here we go.


I'm sorry for barging into your life like this, I know I'm a spoiled bratt and I told you I get everything I want. And yes, I got you. But is was more complicated than I thought. I will not be holding your hand, I will not be having your lips next to mine, I will not be wrapped in your arms, I will not be next to you walking through this crazy days if I didn't want to. So ask me again, and I will answer honestly.

sorry for ignoring everything you said, but it wasn't necessary. I knew how you felt, that's why it got me scared. Coz the both of us are falling to somewhere we didn't plan to.

I will throw all my fears away and free fall with you to wherever.

I know it is not that easy now, but We'll figure it out.

Maybe this should happen.

Its just goodbye, its better than not saying anything at all.

It was another FAIL story

It wasnt until later that I asked myself, whats the point of all this?

A Few years back I asked myself that. And at this very moment I still couldnt answer.

So Whats the point of all this?

I'll sky rocket to where you are

try hard to explain

friends, for letting you down. It wasn't my intention, You guys know how hard I tried. But you guys know how I tried to fight, but there will always come a time when we just cant fight anymore. Not because we grew tired in fighting but because there is none to fight for.

There are some things that I have learned during everything that had happened, I am just learning how to make myself happy and make myself the priority this time. I may sound selfish but I had enough of making other people happy and leaving myself feel worthless and empty.

At this very moment, I am happy in where I am. Happy on who I became. Happy on everything. The pieces of my life is falling into place.

'The moment may only last a few seconds... but the memories of it will last a lifetime. ' Somehow I don't care if its only a moment. I'm back being a person who doesn't care about tomorrow or the next day, I just care about now. Because whatever happens today is the thing that will shape what happens.

Shit happens. Deal with it.

Yes they do, and every time I try to contemplate about how everything in my life became this way it makes me sad because I know I did everything I can and yet there are still many things that I should have done.

I miss you and sometimes I just want to sky rocket to where you are. Like before, I wanted to feel your hug and forget the world. It makes me feel everything will be okay, not in that very moment but someday. Now, every time I see you, it just breaks my heart. Breaks my heart, for limiting what I can do. For building walls around me. For letting everything fall apart.

On this part I will blame you.

I told you I will not fight for this anymore, yet you let everything fall apart. That will be the only thing I can blame you with. I got out of this mess with no less than myself and yet you looked at me and didn't say a word. You chose to walk away, and i did too. We took different paths.


Now I am gaining myself again.

Dont try to make me feel guilty of being happy, thats the best thing I can do for myself now. And all I can tell you is..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz32I_GbpeU&NR=1

"i want you to stay and not go away"

Recent.

For the first time, I will finally admit to myself how much I have fallen for someone who made me feel like i am the light of the universe. Maybe I am taking the easy way out, but maybe for once I can go to the easy choice. All my life, I have been used to the complicated ways of everything. This time I will let go and free fall on the hole thats in front of me. I may not be sure if I will be falling on the right track but its seems to be the only choice.

Lets hit the rewind...

Have you ever tried laying down beside someone who you really like? I did, a few many times. And in that few many times, many have tried to take advantage. I was sorry for myself coz this people are the ones I have learned to trust and be totally comfortable with. Then all things changed..

I lay there, forgetting who I am for the mean time. For the time I was there, the only thing i got was a real conversation with a real man. Telling me things that I didn't want to hear but things that I also need to know. It was an honest conversation. As silly as it may sound, we just talked the night away. He had held both of my hands from night til the morning.

"i want you to stay and not go away". I didn't know how i will respond to that.

And in the morning, I got a hug from behind (while I was in front of the mirror) and a kiss on the forehead. For a sucker for love, it was the most romantic thing.

I wanted to say that I am not the one who's going away. He is, and along with him is my heart that had crazy feelings for him in secret.